Saturday, December 09, 2006

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Top Ten Bible Verses You'll Never Hear in Church

  1. 2 Kings 2:23-24 NKJV
    Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
  2. Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV
    No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
  3. Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
    Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

The funny thing about church is that even after years and year of attending you often end up hearing about the same ten or fifteen stories, only with a new twist on them each time. Or better yet the preacher has his own moral lesson he wants to teach and while he does it picks out individual lines here and there from the Bible. So you end up walking away with this idea that the Bible is mostly stories of "God's" love and how to be a good moral person.

Well that's because if anything other than those handful of cherry-picked stories were peached and the rest of the stories in the Bible were taught in their entirety, people would go, "Are these people insane?" and immediately walk out of the building.

Anyways, click "Read More" to see the entire list. It's pretty damn funny -- well until you realize people actually believe this stuff.


Sunday, December 03, 2006

Scientist Fights Church Effort to Hide Museum's Pre-Human Fossils

Famed paleoanthropologist Richard Leakey is giving no quarter to powerful evangelical church leaders who are pressing Kenya's national museum to relegate to a back room its world-famous collection of hominid fossils showing the evolution of humans' early ancestors.

Leakey called the churches' plans "the most outrageous comments I have ever heard."

"Our doctrine is not that we evolved from apes, and we have grave concerns that the museum wants to enhance the prominence of something presented as fact which is just one theory," the bishop said.

You're fucking doctrine? Are you out of your minds?? (Wait, don't answer that) Let me try to get through this as calmly as possible here.

Where in the fuck do you people get off trying to act like you have a problem with one theory being presented as fact? How can one possibly use the phrase "it's not or doctrine" and seriously attempt in the same sentence to talk about your supposed problem with one theory being presented as fact.

First of all, first of all, what a strong theory you must have if you feel you need to censor information that contradicts your "theory". Second of all, stop talking about the word theory as though it's just something you can make up on a whim -- only religion holds that precious description.

If you're cult is pissed that someone is providing information that contradicts your "doctrine", fine, at least have the balls to admit it. But don't sit there for one second and try to pretend you have a problem with "one theory" being taught as fact. Don't for one second try to pretend like you're just being noble to step in and correct this erroneous practice of teaching one theory as fact and turn around in the same breath tell me that the Bible is the inerrant word of god and I'll burn in hell if I don't believe it.

These people are amazing. It doesn't get better than this folks.


Send Your Atheist Friend an "I Told You So" Letter

Do you know someone who is in danger of being "left behind" because of a sinful life? Imagine if you could write a letter to a friend or loved one after the Great Day of Reckoning...This is where the Post-Rapture Post comes in. Just write your letter and it will be hand-delivered immediately following the exodus of the pure from the Earth.